United thinks outside the (pasta) box

Sometimes, it's the counter-intuitive idea that hits the home run. But who'd have thought that a stodgy company like United Airlines would be the one to do it.

Like those of you who fly the legacy airlines with any regularity, I’ve grown weary of the poor service and, often, outright idiocy in the way airlines like United operate. I have my own list of pet peeves, which likely parallels yours. By now, our lists have become tedious in their retelling.

That’s why I found it refreshingly shocking to learn in today’s Wall Street Journal that United Airlines in late 2004 launched, as an experiment, “United p.s.,” a premium service (hence, the p.s.) on select domestic trans-continental flights (JFK-SFO and JFK-LAX). They converted half the cabins of some existing 757s (my least favorite airliner) to business and first class. Tickets cost as much as $3,235 round-trip for business class and $5,167 for first class. And guess what. The experiment has been a success. They’re making money on the new service – lots of money.
Here we are, in the midst of what some people say is a recession. Consumers are cutting back on discretionary spending. The word “staycation” has become a part of our summer 2008 lexicon, reflecting the fact that more people are opting to stay home for their vacations rather than pay $4 for a gallon gas, or squeeze their frames into ever-smaller airline seats on flights that have a less-than-even chance (sometimes worse odds) of departing or arriving on time.

In that context, airlines have been mothballing their older airliners, reducing the number of flights, laying off pilots and flight attendants and engaging in the fine art of saving every last dime. Then, along comes somebody at United with this counter-intuitive idea. Try to picture the planning session where that took place. Whoever came up with that idea and then managed to sell it to his or her bosses should get the award for "Bravest Manager of The Year."

That aside, there’s something deeper going on here. Remember the old one-pound can of coffee? If you’re still buying cans of Folgers or Maxwell House in your local supermarket, you’ll know that “one-pound” cans of coffee now contain 12 ounces. Last time I checked, one pound was 16 ounces. But the cans are the same size as before. There’s just less coffee in them – for the same price. And that’s the key.

Last week, my wife and I were cooking dinner and she asked me to boil a half-pound of spaghetti. Fool that I am, I figured that was about half the box, since boxes of pasta contain one pound. Wrong. When I drained the cooked pasta and put it in the bowl, it was obvious there wasn’t enough. Looking at the box, I discovered that, yes, the contents had been reduced by four ounces. Same old price, by the way.

In the same way, the airlines in the past few years have been gradually reducing the pitch (the space between the seats) in their planes, to the point of torture for anyone more than five and a half feet tall.

About two years ago, United came up with the nifty idea of charging extra for a little bit more knee room. And then, the aisle seats also started commanding a premium price. Next, they set aside the first few rows in economy class for an additional fee. Since there are few original ideas in the airline industry, all the other legacy airlines followed suit. Ditto on the brilliant idea to charge for checked baggage.

Be that as it may, what the airlines have been doing is the equivalent of the shrinking coffee can and pasta box. They continue to charge reasonable prices for air travel, reduce the number of flights, add rows of seats to their planes, and charge for stuff that used to be included in the ticket price, all in an effort to maximize what they call “butts in the seats” in their largely fruitless quest for profitability. What that has spawned is a lot of uncomfortable, cranky customers.

Maybe what United p.s. represents is a retro airline: just like the old days when it cost a lot of money to fly across the country, but by God, you did it in style.

Next up: a packaged goods company will go retro and bump up their price on a “one-pound” can of coffee or pasta that actually contains 16 ounces of product. And everyone else will follow suit. What a novel idea.